Val Patterson knows how to write an obituary for himself

From an article on boingboing. This gentleman wrote his own obituary and confessed to minor crimes and white lies he told while he was alive. Awesome way to get things off your chest! He sounds like a warm and amazing person, and I only wish that I can die without regrets, like he he did:

Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Also, I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn’t even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters “PhD” even stood for. For all of the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, I’m sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered, and I always made you laugh at work. Now to that really mean Park Ranger; after all, it was me that rolled those rocks into your geyser and ruined it. I did notice a few years later that you did get Old Faithful working again. To Disneyland – you can now throw away that “Banned for Life” file you have on me, I’m not a problem anymore – and SeaWorld San Diego, too, if you read this.

– Val Patterson

Wish I had a chance to know Val while he was alive. Seems like an awesome person. Later on he says something funny and I think also speaks to the type of person he was:

My family is following my wishes that I not have a funeral or burial. If you knew me, remember me in your own way. If you want to live forever, then don’t stop breathing, like I did.

Love that!

Video clips of Mr. Wizard being a dick to kids

Haven’t laughed like that in a few days.

Duck Duck Gray Duck

Video clips of Mr. Wizard being a dick to kids. I think the millennial generation could use a dosage of this guy to take them down a notch. No participation ribbon for you!

Brought to you by @DianeBullock and @mcs212.

For those of you who don’t know, this was a program on the Nickelodeon children’s television called Mr. Wizard’s World. The on-air host was Don Herbert demonstrated the science behind ordinary things with kids and pretty much shattered their dreams on a regular basis. It was wonderful.

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From the Birdhouse…

via yourmonkeycalled:

Here’s another batch of Twitter almosts that have been kicking around my Birdhouse for a long time. It feels good to purge and start fresh every now and then, but I didn’t just want to delete these proto-toots:

> Just tried to donate blood but the guy turned me down. He was like, “This is a Hallmark Store.”

> My favorite app is the Febreze app which is a bottle of Febreze.

> At a school assembly I show extra support for my son by booing the other kids. To establish contrast.